the suspense is killing me!

I can be patient. I promise, I can. It just depends on the situation. If the situation involves presents, gifts or surprises? Forget it. I am the least patient person alive.

When I was younger, around Christmas and my birthday (okay, fine, and Easter and Valentine's Day and my brother's birthday and any other gift receiving related holiday), I snuck around the house looking for my gifts. Yes, I realize this is bad. But that's not the half of it. When I found my gifts, I shook them, felt them, stealthily untaped and opened them and then taped them back up. I told you it was bad! I just could not handle the suspense of waiting. I have ruined just about every surprise of my life. But, that doesn't mean that I wasn't still surprised when the appropriate time came.

But, the thing is, I LOVE to be surprised. Sure, I might torture you with questions and sneaking around trying to figure out what said surprise is, but if you can keep a secret from me and actually manage to surprise me? You are pretty awesome. If, someday, someone was able to throw me a surprise party that stayed a surprise? I could die happy. Just know, that you'd definitely have your hands full in keeping that secret.

For instance, my birthday is coming up (a month from yesterday if you're keeping track). I have casually been dropping hints to Matt about what I might want. But, yesterday entered the final stretch in which I need to stop being so indifferent and really let him know what I want (just so he doesn't get me socks or something--which I would totally still love if they came from him, because it's the thought that counts). So, in a super serious, totally normal conversation about quantum mechanics, I might have let slip that I had finalized my birthday list and that he should let me know in what form I should submit it for official review. His response? "What if I already got you something?" What?!

Matt, dearest, you can't just say that and expect me not to notice. I immediately had to know what he got me. Like, this second. And, can he give it to me early? But how did he know what I wanted? But how can I possibly wait another month to find out what it is? And, if he lets me see it now, I promise I'll act surprised when I actually open it. I am a pill, I tell ya. He is truly a saint for putting up with me.

And what's more? The gift that I am giving him for our anniversary just arrived yesterday. It is awesome if I do say so myself. Just thinking about it makes me giddy and I can't wait to give it to him. As much as I love getting gifts, I love watching people open theirs too. So, does he want it now? No. How about now? No. I think he actually told me to wait until our actual anniversary to give it to him. What an odd duck. How can he have the patience to wait another 10 days to find out what his present is? The force is strong with that one. He just sits and laughs at me. Oh, the lengths that man goes to in order to keep things a surprise for me. It's pretty much a full time job.

I realize that maybe all of this makes me seem pretty awful, but I just can't help it. This probably makes me seem like I'm really greedy too, but I'm not--I am equally excited about any gift, big or small. Wrap up a stinky, smelly gym shoe and I will drive myself crazy wanting to know what it is. It's a curse, I know. But, we all have our own strange quirks and weird habits. This is mine. And, I can deal with that.